Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
