idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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