it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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