My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
