i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
