So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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