I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
