I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
