even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
