Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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