and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
