You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
