Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
