i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
