I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
