I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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