i just google imaged poop.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
