Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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