so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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