i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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