How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
