Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
