carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
