Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
