Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
