He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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