Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
