i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
