Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
