She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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