meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
