i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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