dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Someone shattered a urinal.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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