im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
