I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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