It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Randomize
