..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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