Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
