Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
