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So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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