i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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