You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
