i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
