i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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