Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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