It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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