did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
