remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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