I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
