Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
