You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
